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中式英语——字词准确性19

驶入快车道

这将使我省信息产业的发展驶入快车道

【查阅辞典】驶sail,drive快车道fast traffic lane

【中式英语】This will make the development of IT industry in the Province to be driven into fast traffic lane.

【求疵笔记】“驶入快车道”是一种比喻说法,犹言新生事物发展迅速,突飞猛进。同样的比喻,在英语中却有不同的形象:“换上高速档”。

【修改建议】This will make the IT industry of the Province get into high gear.


市场的结构

中国照相洗印市场的结构与欧美巿场略有不同。

【查阅辞典】照相洗印 photofinish结构structure不同different

【中式英语】The structure of Chinese photofinishing market is slightly different from the U.S. and European markets.

【求疵笔记】在我们的教科书中,“甲与乙不同”就是A is different from B。于是套用这个句型,原文就被舒舒服服地译成中式英语。译文的from后面至少要加上that of才通。如果不加,译文是将“中国市场结构”同“欧美市场”比较,不合逻辑。加了之后,是“结构”同“结构”比较。其实,我们中国人关注着“结构”,西方商人却着眼于“市场”,故他们常常将market放在主语位置,用可以人为改变的structure(结构)做谓语动词。而且美国英语认为different后面可以跟from 也可以跟than。

【修改建议】The Chinese photofinishing market is structured slightly different than the U.S. and European markets.


是……的一年

2004年党和国家大力宣传和落实科学发展观的一年

【查阅辞典】宣传propaganda,disseminate,publicity落实carry out,fulfil,implement,put into effect科学science发展development

【中式英语】Year 2004 is a year when Chinese Communist Party and Chinese government went to great lengths to publicize and implement the idea of scientific development.(摘自《中国科普报告》)

【求疵笔记】表示年代、地点等“发生某情况”,“经历”,“见证”,“以……为特点”,英语可以用see译出。Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English(《朗文当代英语词典》)例句:The 15 century saw the end of the Roman Empire in the West. (15世纪,西方经历了罗马帝国终结的历史时期。)

【修改建议】The year 2004 saw the Chinese Communist Party and central government's great efforts to publicize and apply the scientific outlook for development.


寿命

中国人生活水平和人均寿命的提高,超过了人们的估计。

【查阅辞典】人均per capita;per person寿命life-span,life,age,lifetime,longevity

【中式英语】Chinese living levels and average life-span have increased beyond estimations.

【求疵笔记】“生活水平”英语一定要说成living standards(生活标准)。“人均寿命”如果不列出数据的话,西方媒体习惯说成life expectancy(寿命预期)。其中expectancy意谓“根据概率统计求得的预期数额”。

【修改建议】Chinese living standards and life expectancy have enhanced beyond estimations.

取自《汉译英求疵录:从中式英语到准确英语》,曾凯民编著;如有侵权,联系删除

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