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中式英语——字词准确性10

01

加快步子   构建市场经济的步子必须加快。

【查阅辞典】构建construct市场经济market economy步子pace. step加决accelerate,quicken

【中式英语】The pace of market economy construction should be accelerated. (摘自《上海交通大学学报》)

【求疵笔记】accelerate、quicken等词本身就含有“加快速度”、“加快步子”的意思,所以原文中的“速度”、“步子”字样不必用对应的英语单词speed、pace译出。例如“我们要加快我厂技术创新的步子。”某汉英词典译作We must quicken the pace of technical innovation in our factory.句中pace of应该删去。再如《大中华文库》总序的最后一段说:China is accelerating its pace of absorption of the best parts of the cultures of other countries.《各国人民的优秀文化正日益迅速地为中国文化所吸取。)也落入了中式英语的窠臼。
 

【修改建议】The construction of market economy should be accelerated.
 
 
 
 
02

加快速度  本公司将开创国内新型软件企业的新篇章,并加快中国软件产业的发展速度。

【查阅辞典】开创start,initiate,pioneer,found,set up,open软件software产业industry速度speed,velocity

【中式英语】It will inaugurate a new era of local software companies and enhance the speed of China's software industry development.(摘自某软件公司广告)

【求疵笔记】“加快速度”一般不说成enhance the speed,而说成speed up.
 

【修改建议】It will open a new chapter for local software companies and speed up China's software industry development.
 
 
03

较真  我以为她是说着玩儿的,不料她倒是较真的。

【查阅辞典】较真(无)认真serious

【中式英语】l thought she was only joking,but she was serious.

【求疵笔记】从上下文看,“她”的态度和口气不是较真的,较真的是“她”的说话内容。“说的话较真”可以用mean business译出。
 

【修改建议】I thought she was only joking, but she meant business.
 
 
04

教学工作   现在我院已编写并发行一套教材正在教学工作中使用。

【查阅辞典】编写compile发行publish教学teaching

【中式英语】At present, a set of text-books has been compiled and published and being used in teaching work.(摘自中华针灸进修学院资料)

【求疵笔记】teaching 指教学,教学工作,教学活动。所以译文中的work是冗词。

【修改建议】At present,a set of textbooks has been compiled, published, and used for teaching.

 
 
 

取自《汉译英求疵录:从中式英语到准确英语》,曾凯民编著;如有侵权,联系删除

 

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